I’ll never get used to not having people in my corner. I’m too nice of a person to everyone I consider my friend. I offer anything I can do to help when you’re in a bad situation or just need someone’s ear to chat up.
But when it comes to me, I’m forgotten. This yeah was the first year in a can’t remember how long that I got a birthday gift from ANYONE, including family and “friends”ive known for 20+ years. I really don’t expect a repeat. I’ve been massively depressed for over two years and I’ve wanted to commit suicide countless times. But I Don’t have the courage. Because I know my funeral would make an inconvenience to someone’s day and I wouldn’t want to make my mom cry.
As on today, fuck all of you. Because you’ll read this and feel obligated to text me and ask me how I’m doing, But won’t really care. We’re not really friends, in just someone that you know if there for you when no one else is. I’m only saying this here, because I have no where else to write it and someone may be having a rough time as well and just needs to read that, it’s getting better. Slowly it’s getting there, but it still sucks very much.